The origination of a tradition
Traditionally, a groom would not see his bride until the moment she walks down the aisle. This custom originated from the time of arranged marriages, when the groom would not meet his bride until the day of the wedding. Brides would wear veils to cover their faces, in order to prevent a groom from bolting from his agreement should he not like the looks of his future wife. Despite the complete lack of romance of this practice, the tradition persisted into modern times.
The “first look”
Over the last few decades, modern couples have chosen when to see each other on their wedding day based on practicality and personal preference, rather than on an outdated tradition. Seeing the bride before the ceremony is no longer taboo, and in many cases, is actually encouraged as the better alternative. A pre-arranged meeting between the bride and groom before the wedding ceremony has many benefits:
1. Privacy
Many couples choose to see each other for the first time in private, rather than in front of a large audience. This is their chance to have a quiet moment, talk to each other, and remember what their day is all about. They may decide to have this time together in complete privacy, or to capture the moment by including their photographer and videographer. Some couples also invite their closest family and friends into the experience.
2. More time together
Following tradition usually means that a bride and groom will not be together for much of their own wedding day. Having a first look allows for the two people who are getting married to actually celebrate most of the day together.
3. Ease the nerves
I have had MANY couples tell me how nervous they were until the moment they saw their future spouse. Once they are able to see and talk to their partner, they were able to relax and enjoy their day.
4. More time with guests and guest convenience
Photographing most of the portraits before the ceremony allows a couple to attend their own cocktail hour and interact with guests. A first look also allows for a timeline in which the reception closely follows the ceremony. Guests are no longer required to wait on the couple to finish taking photos and can avoid hours of down-time.
5. More time for photos
As a wedding photographer, I know that the most important photos I take all day will be of the bride and groom. Those are the photos that will go in albums and hang on walls. Having a first look allows me time to get creative and give my couples more options for their portraits. For winter weddings when the sun sets early, a first look earlier in the day is usually the only option to capture beautiful, natural-light images.
Will a first look spoil the emotion of the aisle-walk?
The most common objection I hear to doing a first look is that it will ruin the special moment when the groom sees his bride walk down the aisle. I can say from personal experience that this is not true. I was emotional when I saw my husband during our first look, and again when I walked down the aisle towards him. Seeing him before the ceremony calmed my nerves, and I still had the emotion and excitement of “this is actually happening!” when I saw him at the end of the aisle. My husband Paul will also tell you that seeing me before the wedding definitely did not spoil the moment when the doors opened and I walked into the church.
Some couples may still feel that a first look is not right for them and choose to save that moment for the ceremony. To them I say that as long as you are aware of and are OK with the possible limitations of following tradition, then go for it. In the end, this is your wedding and only you can decide what works best for you!
